Feeling Unloved
I haven't been on here in a while for the simple reason that I was doing good. Now though, I just feel...off. I think it's cause it's October. October was a hard month last year and now I feel like I'm resorting back to how I felt then. Scared, alone, and vulnerable. And all I can see are flashbacks from the past. That's my biggest fear you know. The past, I mean. I see me, in my room, alone. Crying because I feel worthless. I see my bloody hands from the picking, and I see dad choke slamming me into the wall and calling me names. I see the rituals and the pain. And I can feel the heartbreak and the sense of being unloved. I'm starting to feel that way right now. Unloved. Like maybe I'm not smart enough or pretty enough or good enough for people to love. I know when I tell myself that its just a lie. A lie my mind tells me to trick me. Everyone's loved. Even me. I just dont feel it. This probably makes no sense to you. But to me, well, it makes all th...