Nightly Struggles
Lately I have been struggling. I feel like as soon as I start to heal I start a knew ritual that breaks me down into nothing. For about three weeks I have been getting the nightly urge to chug water until I can't breath. I am continuing to give into this urge, and it is physically hurting me. Last night before I went to sleep I was in so much pain. I had chugged so much water that it caused me to have severe stomach pains. My stomach ached so badly from all of the water I drank that I could barely move. I have still also been struggling with brushing my teeth. Since about a year ago, every night while brushing my teeth I gag myself over and over again until my mind tells me I can stop. I know deep in my mind that I don't need to gag myself to successfully brush my teeth. But I let my O.C.D. and anxiety get the best of me. Tonight I have decided I am going to really push myself. I am going to attempt to cut gagging myself and chugging water from my nightly routine. I honestly ha...