A Little Hope is all I need
For the last couple days I have been having a very rough time. I lost some people that I was beginning to get close to, and it took a toll on me. I also don't feel like myself (I don't really know why) All I know is that I am in pain, and this pain caused me to make a mistake. I went back to my old habbits, and I hurt muself. During my roughest times I coped with my feelings by covering up the internal pain with physical pain. It seemed to temporarily distract me from the real life horror I was enduring. After counseling I learned this was not the correct way to think, but today I gave in. Today I went to the beach today with my family, and I refused to apply sunscreen. I hoped for a sunburn, and that's what I got. I figured it would temporarily hide my sadness, my pain. Maybe the stinging of the sunburn will replace the stinging of my heart. I know this is not true. I mean,what was i thinking? Harming myself with the sun to be happy? I have just felt like giving up. But I...